top of page
Search
  • elenaham87

Giving Birth

When I began my relationship with Jesus in 2012, I was going through a very tough season. I was battling depression, anxiety, and a tremendous amount of fear. This was a very dark season of my life, but Jesus found me, and I took refuge in him. I didn’t have many people around me that understood what I was battling and honestly some of the things I was enduring seemed so wild that I didn’t even know how to share them without sounding crazy. So, I began to write. I wrote a lot. I wrote about what I felt. I wrote about the revelations Jesus would give me through the word. Some days I would just write love letters to the Lord, expressing my most profound gratitude for all the ways he had proven himself to be my God. Most days, though, I wrote about the truth. The truth declared about me and you as children of God in the Bible. One of the Scriptures that anchored me to Jesus then, and still does today is “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity or cowardice or fear, but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of sound judgment and personal discipline [abilities that result in a calm, well-balanced mind and self-control].” ‭‭2 Timothy‬ ‭1‬:‭7‬ ‭AMP‬‬


After I realized how much I enjoyed writing I felt the desire to one day write a book and talk about my journey with Jesus. I never thought this desire would come to pass though, because it honestly seemed so far-fetched. What could I possibly share that hadn’t already been shared by someone else. I questioned my ability to possibly share something new. Like, who am I that God would bring this desire to pass? So, because this seemed impossible, I decided to keep this to myself, and not share with anyone. Eventually, I began to forget about this desire. I figured I needed to keep growing in my relationship with Jesus, and there were still bigger fish to fry. My journey with Jesus continued, and I kept learning so much. Two years later, I remember being in my home and being in prayer and coming to such a full understanding of the love of the father for me. It was so overwhelming and beautiful. I believe my relationship with Jesus shifted to another level at that moment.


During this time, I was still writing a lot, but not nearly as much as I was when I first began my journey with Jesus. In September 2014, I got married to the love of my life, my high school sweetheart, Will. Naturally, life got busy. We were adjusting to being homeowners and juggling so many new responsibilities. My writing slowly began to take a halt. Six years would go by, and we had our first child, Ava Grace. She was born in October 2020. The whole pregnancy was amazing, and her arrival was beautiful. God was with us every step of the way. Two years went by, and we found out I was pregnant with our second child.


Life took many shifts leading up to my second pregnancy. We were navigating through some uncharted territories, yet we knew the Lord was making a way, and we were so blessed. During my second pregnancy, I began to experience the feeling of defeat. I struggled a lot with fear of the future of having two kids. I truly felt incapable of taking on such a tremendous responsibility. This fear began to invade my thoughts and some days I would feel so sad and worried. I began to dig deep and find the truth that I had uncovered when I first started my walk with Jesus. I fought for my peace, and I had my family warring for me too.


Baby Will was due to arrive December 8, 2022. A few months before that I joined a prayer call with my cousin and his wife. We were warring in prayer for one another and in that call my cousin spoke of a vision that God had given him, and it was me writing a book. His wife immediately confirmed that she had received the same revelation. I was in complete awe! Ten years later, and God is bringing this up in my life again. Particularly when I’m so close to birthing my baby boy. I was shocked, because remember, I never shared this desire with anyone. I told my cousin that what he saw was a desire I felt when my journey with the Lord had just started back in 2012. He said he believed that it would come to pass.


I thought about this for a few days, but then the thoughts quickly faded with the consuming tasks that bombarded me in preparing for the soon arrival of our son. The following month flew by, and December 8th came quickly, and our son was born healthy and strong. My recovery seemed long, but every fear that I had concerning him, and being a mom of two was nowhere to be found! God’s grace met me daily, and still does. It is only because of the grace over my life that I can be the mama that I am to my Littles.


On March 26, 2023, I attended a gathering with some mighty women of God. I was hesitant to attend because my house was a mess and dinner needed to be cooked and if that wasn’t enough, it was pouring raining outside. I wanted to stay home, but I just knew that I needed to go. It wasn't until my husband saw me still debating on whether to go or not when he insisted that I stop thinking about it and to just go. So, I did just that! The woman hosting the gathering is a woman I see as a mentor. She is such a powerhouse and has such a huge impact on my spiritual journey that I was so excited to see her. It had been quite some months since I had last seen her, so I knew there was so much we needed to catch up on. I arrived and the embrace was long and emotional. We talked and caught up on life. We talked about how God was working in each of our lives, and how faithful he remained to be in our lives. After sharing and hearing each other’s stories, silence took over in the kitchen we were in. Almost like we were just letting everything soak in. This mighty woman then breaks the silence and asks “why aren’t you writing “? I began to weep. I responded “I used to write a lot “. And she said she knew! She then encouraged me and told me to start again.


God definitely speaks to those hidden desires in our hearts. In my case, he used my cousin and his wife, as well as my mentor to remind me that this desire was not false, and even less an impossible one. The Lord is faithful to bring to pass those things that are in our hearts, and even more those that he placed there. Even in writing this story for my first blog, the Lord revealed to me that baby Will wasn’t the only thing being birthed; he was birthing this writing journey. He is so good!


As I was in prayer about this new writing journey, I couldn’t help but be overcome by tears of gratitude. In my praises to the Lord, I said to him how amazing it would be if I could just share a drop of Jesus with any and everyone. I felt that right in my spirit, and I knew that it was the Holy Spirit giving me the name for this blog. A Drop of Jesus.


And so, my writing journey begins. I will share what the Holy Spirit places in my heart to share. I might even have to dust off some of my old journals because there’s so much in those journals that need to be shared. So, what desires has God placed in you? Have you written them off as impossible? Do you feel incapable or unworthy of being able to achieve those desires? If you answered yes to any of those questions, then I just want to remind you that yes, it might seem impossible, but we serve a God that specializes in those types of situations, and you are more precious to him then you can even begin to fathom. He equips you to do everything and it's definitely not in our own strength because then we'd take the credit. Everything you are is everything he needs; you don't have to change anything! He will do all the changing little by little. He wants to be in every single part of your life, even if it's just to figure out what to cook for dinner or how to fix your hair or how to repair something in your home. Seriously, he wants to be included and trust me, he makes everything better! There is so much love, patience, understanding, and authority in the name of Jesus that I believe that even just a drop of his spirit is enough to bring forth freedom, love, clarity, provision, understanding, protection, and so much more that many of us are in search of. My prayer is that you would trust Jesus with those hidden desires in your heart. His timing truly is perfect. Draw near to him and he will draw near to you as he purifies you and guides you. (James 4:8) He will surely birth those desires in your heart. Don't give up or lose hope. Blessings!







92 views3 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Abide

3件のコメント


lovemk0727
2023年5月25日

This came right on time . Thank you for sharing and I can’t wait for your future blogs

いいね!

melissacurtis11305
2023年5月20日

I lover this so much!! I’m so happy for you tt 😘

いいね!

lm.paralegal09
2023年5月19日

What a beautiful reminder 😭❤️; all we need is a drop of Jesus!

いいね!
bottom of page